Under Protection Of The Beast In Me
by Dances-In-Ashes
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 1x09.  Assumptions and speculations abound.  Jane reflects on the day, her thoughts on Maura, and her mixed feelings on Patrick Doyle. One-shot.  Implied Jane/Maura.


**Fandom**: Rizzoli & Isles

**Pairing**: Implied Jane/Maura

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles. They belong to others. I make no profit from this.

**Summary**: _**SPOILERS FOR 1x09. Assumptions and speculations abound. **_Jane reflects on the day, her thoughts on Maura, and her mixed feelings on Patrick Doyle. "You do what you need to do to protect family." -Korsak

**Author's Note**: Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first piece; you guys are absolutely amazing! Your comments made my morning so happy... and a happy author is a productive author! ;D

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Patrick Doyle was a killer.

Jane had spent her life putting people like him behind bars; relished in doing so. Killers were bad people who did bad things. To people who didn't deserve it.

...Right?

So why didn't Jane feel that angry fire in her belly at the mention of his name? Why hadn't she balked at the thought of calling him? At the idea of giving him the name of Collin's killer? She knew exactly what he planned on doing... he was going to kill someone else. And she had been okay with aiding him in murder.

Putting her beer down, the bottle clinking against her kitchen countertop, she put a palm to her forehead.

What had she been thinking? Was it only because Maura's safety had been involved? Was she justifying O'Rourke's murder because he, himself, was a 'bad guy' and he would have been gunning for Maura next?

She played with the label on the bottle, dog-earing one corner between two fingers.

But she'd promised Maura she wouldn't make the call, and she hadn't. She hadn't... but she'd been willing to. She thought back to their conversation in the morgue, standing on opposite sides of the dead person table, the phone Doyle had given Maura lying between them on the cold metal table:

_"Doyle is the only one who can stop them all," she'd said, arms crossed over her stomach as if warding off the thought of what could happen if this wasn't resolved quickly. Even if they managed to tag O'Rourke and put him in prison, another of Doyle's enemies would be quick on his heels, coming after Maura. And they couldn't take on the entire Irish mob. Doyle was going to 'send a message' to the rest of them by killing O'Rourke, and hope everyone else would fall back and leave Maura alone._

_"I know the consequences if I don't do this, Jane, I do. I've thought about it."_

_Jane watched Maura, confident in her righteousness even though it could mean her life if the call wasn't made. But she worried for her friend; she could only protect her for so long. Hell, she didn't even know if she _could_ protect Maura, and that terrified her. Doyle had kidnapped Maura right from under their noses. If he could do it, any of the mob could._

_A pulse of adrenaline born of remembered panic dropped through her, creating a painful spike in her heartbeat. When they'd realized she'd been kidnapped, they hadn't known what to do. They didn't know where to even start looking. Jane had felt helpless. And she hated feeling helpless. She had paced the bullpen like a frustrated tiger, ready to pounce on any small lead. She had wanted to do something... anything, but there was nothing to do. And then her phone had rung. Without a moment's hesitation she had answered in a rush, "Whatever you want, I can get it." It had been Maura. She was safe. And instead of asking her to come back to the police department... Jane had sent her to her apartment. When Frost made a move, she quickly calmed him, saying she was okay, and rushed out._

_Jane remembered getting to her apartment, finding Maura in the kitchen, looking shaken but otherwise alright. She couldn't help the hug she wrapped the ME in, feeling relief spill out as she held Maura safe in her arms. She'd almost cried. Almost._

_"I'll do it then," she said, reaching for the phone, not wanting to feel that helplessness and fear again. Or, worse yet, losing Maura again._

_But Maura grabbed the phone and held it out of her reach. "Why is it any different? This is not who I am; this is not who _you _are."_

_Jane felt her stike a blow with that one. Wasn't she? Wouldn't she do this to protect Maura? Not liking it, and knowing her face showed it, she decided that if she couldn't do it, she knew someone who would. Someone who had seen what the mob was truly capable of and wasn't against using doing what was necessary to get what he needed done._

_"Well, give it to me and I'll take it to the crime lab... maybe they can track something." That was a pretty lame excuse, she knew, but Maura handed the phone over, even if she looked that much more upset. Jane left before Maura changed her mind, and before she, herself, did something stupid._

Korsak was familiar with the Irish mob. Too familiar, after the bloodwars he'd seen.

Doyle might have been a killer, but he hadn't killed anyone who hadn't asked for it. And Maura _was _his daughter. He was going to protect her; they could count on him for that, if nothing else.

But the accusing look on Maura's face after she'd pulled the icepick from O'Rourke's chest had been cutting:

_"Who tipped him off?" She'd aimed her glare at Jane, who shook her head defensively._

_"Not me; you said not to."_

_So she'd looked at Frost, who shook his head. Jane, almost smugly, leaned back to aim her words at Korsak, "I think the message is pretty clear, though."_

_"'Don't mess with my family,'" Frost said on Jane's other side._

_"You do what you need to do to protect family." This from Korsak, drawing Maura's attention. Jane saw her look between the three of them as they stood there, and saw, behind the displeasure, the realization that despite all she'd found out about her blood family, those who stood in front of her now were her _real _family. Not her adoptive parents, or the step-brother she'd never known except in death, nor the man who'd been the 'sperm donor' as Jane had put it._

She had continued to be upset for some time afterwards, but finally the raw emotions had ebbed and she'd forgiven Jane. It was common for people to act rashly and stupidly for those they loved, after all. That Jane cared that much... it was moving.

Or so that's what she'd said last night at the Dirty Robber over a glass of wine.

Jane still didn't like Doyle. But she didn't hate him, either. He had protected Maura when she couldn't, loathe as she was to admit it.

But, Maura...

Her heart ached at the thought of losing Maura again. It had all been too much. She should have done more, she kept berating herself. Anything. Anything would have been better than the nothing she'd done, at least. The terror, the panic, that sense of guilt. She should have kept Maura company in the morgue like she'd planned. Korsak had said she'd needed to be alone... why hadn't she disagreed and followed her? When did she stop listening to her gut?

Clenching her jaw as tight as her fingers around the beer bottle, she tried, instead, to focus her thoughts on a more happy memory. That Maura knew how to help with the pipes at the bar had been a surprise, but a welcome one. They, along with Frankie Jr. and Frankie Sr., helped get the water lines running again, and celebrated with a round of cheers and applause. Maura had glowed with happiness, smiling and looking like part of the family as Frankie threw cocktail olives and Jane schooled her in the art of pinging her brother in the head right back.

There was a knock at her door, sudden and unexpected, and she looked up at it in surprise. A glance down at her phone said it was late, but nonetheless got up to glance through the peephole.

She smiled. It was Maura. And, even this late at night, she looked like she was going to an upscale dinner party. Always the fashionista.

_Yes, _she thought as she opened the door, smiling and greeting her enthusiastically, hugging her friend longer than was necessary, _I would have made that call. Because aiding a murderer might not be who I am... but I am someone who would do absolutely anything to keep this woman safe. That's the beast in me._


End file.
